For the last few days I have seen a dear friend, Mel, run herself ragged by picking friends, and friends of friends, up from the airport, driving them around the island, acting as their tour guide, chef, cleaner and chief entertainer, whilst still working.
Yes, it’s nice to have friends stay, but there are limits.
She’s shattered because she’s missing meals and sleep, running on empty and now starting to resent her guests.
Does this sound familiar?
Do you put everyone else’s needs first before your own, thinking it’s the right thing to do?
My friend Mel doesn’t want to stop as she thinks her friends won’t like her anymore and will be disappointed with her, something that fills her with dread if she even allows that thought to pop into her mind. And the idea of speaking to them and telling them how she’s feeling is way too much potential conflict for her to manage right now.
What can Mel do?
How can I help my friend Mel?
As an Empowerment Coach who helps women to be authentically confident and feel in control of their own life, I know I can help, BUT it has to be on Mel’s terms from where she is right now.
I can only help if Mel wants my help.
There’s absolutely no point wading in giving advice, like telling them to get a taxi, make their own lunch, clean up after themselves, book a tour etc, etc as Mel is nowhere near this stage and giving that advice wouldn’t help at all, it will just make her feel even worse.
Mel needs support, emotional support in the form of listening and being present for her to vent any anger and resentment that is building… and to gently ask what can she do to ease the stress?
By holding space in this way Mel will be able to let off steam and see some solutions that she can put into place herself.
This is the first stage of creating boundary awareness.
Boundaries are personal limits, unique to you.
By implementing small steps, initially Mel will get the feel of what her boundaries are, how they can help everyone and the sense of empowerment and relief that she will feel by practicing them successfully.
Boundaries are essential for everyone to feel energised and in control.
The BIG problem is that the majority of us, me included, were not taught effective, healthy boundaries.
It’s never too late to learn and practice boundary setting. One of my clients, VJ, started discovering her boundaries aged 60 and has never looked back. VJ feels like a whole new world has opened up for her and she’s now happier than she’s been in a very long time.
If you’re feeling like it’s time for you to discover and start practicing your own unique boundaries here’s a FREE gift for you from my Empowered Confidence: Boundaries Tool Kit the complete training which is currently on offer at a very affordable price of £20.
Don’t delay, click here now for your FREE Boundaries Gift from my Feminine Empowerment Academy
Much love and kindness,
